To Eat... (part-1)

           Eating is vital for the sustenance of human life on earth. People love to eat regardless of its necessity. But somehow, i dont like to eat. Let me describe the aversion i have towards it and the reason for my aversion.
           I find the whole process of eating to be a complicated one. First, the processing of food- watching mom being in the kitchen for nearly half of the day, toiling hard to prepare & pack food for each member of the family as per their requirements. Each day, my mom would come and ask "What to prepare?" and everytime i would give the same response - "Anything ma. Its ur wish". After a long time of controversies created by the amount of ingredients & vegetables available and the previous inferences given by the family members on the dishes made, my mom comes to a conclusion of making some boring south indian dish.
           After all these manoeuvers by my mom, when she serves the food on the table and calls upon to eat, the thought of washing hands & walking towards the table to initiate the process of eating, makes me feel utterly lazy. Hence, i wait for an hour or so to get rid of the laziness which is the time by which, she would be in the peak of her anger and call my name with a high pitch adequate for the neighbours to hear as well.
            Once i reach the part of sitting in front of the plate, here comes the role of strategical analysis. First, i have to go through all the dishes available & differentiate whichever i like & i dont like. If the dishes i like are more in number comparatively, i may have to plan the quantity of each dish to have, such that it doesnt exceed the maximum i could possibly eat.
            Next come the fragile part of serving the food to my plate. Somehow, the invention of a spoon seems inadequate for me to serve effectively. Each time i lift a spoon, i spill some dish on the table or into other dishes. The worst thing is when it spills into my cup of water (makes me reluctant to drink water for the rest of the eating time). But when it spills into someone else's cup, there lies the fun part. I know it, but they dont and they end up drinking the mixture of food & water and realise it only after a while, when the cup is becoming empty. I would happily notice their irritated face on seeing some rice at the bottom of the cup from which they've been drinking all along. So, ends the serving phase with some mischievous smiles.
           The main process of eating begins now. Generally, Indians like to mix the dishes and eat. I am a true Indian & a good innovator as well. Hence, i try to make all possible combinations of the food available & enjoy my talent. Some of my famous such innovations are - Kesari with Chutney, Saambhar with banana, Payaasam with curry rice, Curd rice with smashed boiled egg... (Dont look like that.. I dont do this very often.. Just like, once in a week or so only... I am quite considerate of others who eat along with me too..)

Since i feel this post is going to be lengthy, i thought i shall post it by part....
To Eat - will continue...