Gifts

          The very thought of gifts yields a pleasant smile on our face because of its surprise and the feeling of getting something for free. I used to love gifts. Infact, i used to await my b'days with alacrity because of 3 main reasons - gifts, cake & the new dress, i'll get on that day. But then, after some time i started hating the custom of presenting gifts to each other. Reason being, firstly of the gifts i got & secondly of the gifts i gave.
          Let me address the first reason - gifts i got. Im not much of a celebrating kinda person & hence haven't received a much of gifts. I recall once when i got a gift which my bro bought for me when he went on an All India tour. It was a frog- show piece. I could say it was interesting... but disgusting. People say that gifts are given to portray what they feel about the person. By buying me a frog, what is he trying to say here? That im as ugly as a frog or that im a frog in the well (கிணற்று தவளை), who knows nothing about the outside world. Someday i would like to present him with an equally disgusting gift (Awaiting eagerly for his upcoming birthday with all my heart.. Oh Yeah!!). My parents... they dont really buy me anything. I mean, they do buy whatever i ask for, but nothing other than that, which comes with a little amount of surprise quotient in it.
          I had a childhood friend, Pooja. She used to present me lots of gifts (perfumes, earings, bracelets...). Guess what i did? I got a bit carried away by the morals taught at school & by parents & had it in my mind that we should always give something in return for what we got. So, i bought her something of equal value or sometimes even insistently gave her the money for the article which she gave. That should have hurt her a lot & as a consequence we had a lot of fight & separated on our own ways (Nothing big really, she took commerce & i took science in our Hr. Sec.). Thats when i decided that i shouldn't accept any gifts.
          The second reason - gifts i gave. Already being in the confounded state of how to approach a presented gift, i didn't present a much of gifts either. Sometimes, the gifts which i presented also seemed inappropriate for the person. I gifted my cousin, who used go crazy for games, a latest model video game on his b'day. But on the very same day he broke it, coz the game was meant for kids above age 15, whereas my cousin was 7 yrs old on that day (I know, Stupid of me). There is another cousin of mine, whom i gifted with a beautiful girl doll on her 3rd b'day (cautiously!). She received it. Had a look at it. Threw it off to the couch. Went to play with the train set (God! please help me... Where am i going wrong? I can't deal with it anymore).
          And the most contradicting thing is, i dont buy gifts that shows the concern i have on them. I tend to forget their b'day & at the last minute on the day before the b'day, i rush up to a nearby store which wouldn't have seen any living beings the whole day, except for a couple of flies & get an article which is the least dirty looking present there, wrap it up to make sure, that the person whom i going to gift to, dont get to see the article & get upset, while first laying the eyes on it. Finally, after giving it to them, i would feel guilty to have given something completely worthless compared to what they gave me.
          Analyzing all the complexities involved in either presenting someone a gift or receiving a gift from someone, i came to a conclusion that its best to avoid both of them - giving or getting. That made me await my b'day & end my b'day with the same level of happiness throughout. Also, made me look up for my friend's & peer's b'day with no sense of burden or guilt.