Caught in the rain

In the rain I dance

Swaying for your glance..

Will you pass as clouds?

Will you charm a storm?

No one shall know

This glow you left in me..

Fresh as the scent of rain

After a long dry spell..

I swim in your smiles..

Furtive, as they are

Have stolen me away

From prude and thoughts..

Dreamworld

Very commonly, a stirring song, can create thoughts. Too good, that you would want to pen them down. Such a song is Dreamworld and thoughts created are here for you.

My dreamworld. It's a pleasant place with cool warmly winds brushing by. Earth fresh, trees tall and air humid. A clear sky in the mid day makes sweat drops arise on the skin. A gushing air chills from within. Uneasiness exists only to make the coming of good feel pleasurable.

The scene looks different every time. It's the change that gives the familiarity. There are no extremes. No hysterics, no anger, no laughter, no sadness. Just pleasant smiles. Constant and unwavering. Peace exists here. No one cares of time. There is no trouble. It just feels right the way it is. Nothing is still. There is always a smooth flow. So smooth, it looks to be still from far.

There is no hunger. I graze my hand over the grasses. Each strand and tip tells it is itself and unique. A fresh energy flows from the touch. Gravity is loved. Lying on the ground, gives the feeling of being one with all.

Sky.. It's just there. Everywhere. In a dark night, the bright stars gleefully shimmer. A shooting star strides across the sky occasionally. The rest, dance elegantly in the big dark sky. The way they are, it always seems anew. It feels like hearing stories from eons back. Gives a feeling it is all about me, but from the distant past. 

A dawn begins, breaking across the dark sky. Stars go for their rest. A redness spreads everywhere. Eyelids heave mild, easily drooping. A picture that i can drink to my heart-full. No stops. No frames. Existence blended into everything. Life feels contented, comfortable - my dreamworld.

P.S.: In the picture is my favorite old broken coffee mug. Just like my dreamworld, it has its own character, that just can't be replaced by any other.

If i were a secret agent

If i were a secret agent, i would be doing these,

1. Wouldn't risk having meals at restaurants, in fear of enemy spies poisoning my food.
2. Go out at mysterious times in the night to have secret meetings with agent Q, X and Y from Headquarters and execute secret missions.
3. Always prefer going out alone, since going along with friends will endanger their lives to enemy's sniper shoots or even take them to the risk of being kidnapped to threaten me from aborting my missions. Family and friends are big liabilities in this occupation!
4. Know to pilot high power jets and planes. Slow moving vehicles like bicycles are not useful in this field.
5. Always carry a big baggage with bomb diffusion kit and some refill ammo to be ready for any possible encounters.
6. Would be proficient in weight lifting and judo, hence be strong enough to shift a 300 pounds mahogany table by self.
7. Have a very small social network and be discreet in revealing the identity.
8. Though actually multi-lingual, claim to know only one or two languages. It helps to retrieve unintended information from enemies.
9. Write public posts with secret information encoded in them.
10. Old habits die hard. Years of secret military office training is much visible, by the general like to be formally attired.
11. Wear shoes, not sandal for missions. Shoes have secret poisoned knifes that plunge open on a judo leg kick, rendering a silent quick death to the enemy.
12. Never for long, work at one place or stay at one place. Being on the move is the best tactic to always be under-cover.
13. Often be spotted talking to oneself. Actually, having a meeting with secret agent Q about next mission while speaking through the tiny ear piece transceiver.
14. Be proficient in the 'claimed-to-be' native tongue to the level of conversing convincingly good enough, but have bad grammatical mistakes while writing in them. 
15. Always be concise in what i say and avoid speaking much. Being liberal at words might lead to Nation's information being outed. Information is power.
16. Always look up at the sky, to make sure no alien intrusion is impending. Being an MIB, caution and alertness are necessities. Oh shoot! (wears the Ray Ban and takes out the Neuralizer. '''''Flash''''' ) You didn't read this line. Slap the person near you for stealing your bread sandwich.

P.S.: I'm having serious second thoughts about my career...

Nonsensical idiosyncrasies of the world (uh, maybe mine)

So, here we are, with the one and only aim to analyze the odd and unreasonable ways of world (yup, the simple worded title). Jumping right into it, have you ever been attacked by the forceful clasping act of others - The Hug! I don't understand why would anyone want to be hugged or worse - why would anyone want to hug another person?? I mean, bears hug! even when they fight!! But we are humans. It's quite common to see in movies, for a heroine to ascend up to heaven when hero touches her. That's bullshit! Genuinely, her hair would stand out like the cat's in the picture. Simply put, i would say "ban hugging!" and live happily ever after in the quiet, well secluded personal space, equipped with a sharp spear to plunge through anyone who comes nearer than a meter's distance.

 

Then, the world's second most important thing to change would be swearing. The 2 most common profanities in the place i currently reside are f*** & a******. My concern is they are not hurting, rather just plainly disgusting. Why do people forget the wonderful, elegant, wholesome and rich words like maniac, wacko, iDiot (note the stress in D), leech, whimper-er, repellant, glutton, sadist, loser! No no, i'm not cursing you. I mean, words like leech or glutton could make a person writhe in pain in and out! (sigh).. Hopefully, someday the world would be at par with me. 

Though there is a book full of things i would want to be changed or implemented in this world, i would just say one more and publish the rest in my book. We all like to walk and talk with people who walk along with us, which is quite normal. If we happen to walk alone, why shouldn't we talk? We have a lot of things going on in our mind. Wording them out, is just another way of expressing our thoughts. This is what i call self-talking, talking to oneself. It's not crazy, it's completely reasonable and understandable. In fact, if there is a crisis situation which you have to discuss and analyze, while there is no one to talk to - you can simply put a meeting with you, you and maybe also you. See! a three person meeting is arranged with no resources wasted. I'll tell you another instance. You want to make fun of somebody, but it is offensive to ridicule that person in front of another person. So you ridicule the person talking just to you and have a laugh riot hearing it for yourself. No one is hurt, you had a fun time and you would laugh in your head the next time you come across that person. Win -win! Hence, i suggest just like how talking over the mobile phone is accepted, talking to oneself aloud also should be accepted, embraced and appreciated!

Liberation

The season has changed. Bitter cold has given way to gentle breeze with drizzles. A change, which i really wished for, had set, giving the sense of liberation. If this minute change in weather, which has happened for countless times before, matters this much - a change in belonging, giving the first complete sense of freedom from the toils of many a decades, couldn't be expressed with merely "cliched patriotic" words.

To imagine oneself being at the precise moment of "26th of January 1950", feeling the freedom as an Indian, feeling the confidence in the change of ways and truly believing a brilliant and bright future - How i wish to be in that state of ecstasy! But it doesn't end there. As it is well known and said "With great power comes great responsibility", every Indian would have felt the heaviness of the freedom they have earned. A constitution was drafted by the best of minds, with the best of intentions. Political principles, duties and rights were assimilated from many other existing constitutions and adapted to the rich and diverse India, making the first ever draft of our very own Indian constitution. It seems to be no less than the birth of a beautiful child. Yes, Our India!

Today, when i fill forms declaring my nationality as Indian, a subconscious pride arises. The tri-color flag seems very much a part of my being, much like the part of my mother, father and brother. Especially, when living in a Foreign land, every distress and slighting over my nation's dignity, seems unbearable and unacceptable. It is true that there have occurred many a distressing mishaps in the past. Though I am not responsible for those mishaps, I am responsible to not have prevented it. I believe the solution for the problems, comes from taking the responsibility over it and trying to overcome them, though in however small measure it might seem. After all, with great power comes great responsibility. My ancestors have won the power of freedom for me and now it is my duty to conserve and protect it.

With all my heart, i wish to utter the same word said by many brave hearts on this same day - Vande Mataram!!!

It's quite social.

It is odd to think of how one is expected to live in this society. An aberrant to the norms shall not be digested, free thinkers shall be judged and there is to be only a single line that starts from a point. Such is our society that is always geared up and ready to plunge at judging an action that which is not understandable to the simple minds. I understand what you think of too -that if a person really is a free thinker, he/she need not bother about these judgments and choose to disregard them. I second that too. But, the real and practical scenario is that, there exists a constant lurking fear in every person, that there will be some occasions that might need the acceptance and nods from this society. To enlist some of such scenarios - marriage, a business venture, retirement from a profession.

The one that has been bothering me in my current stage of life is "marriage". To discuss this matter, while being the fair sex, is quite fragile an issue. The problems that make up the fragility are as stated.

• An open statement that shall portray me as an aberrant, shall hinder my prospects.
• The general expectation from a fair sex is to be fair and elegant, not headstrong and open minded.

But, with the hope that this would only enable at filtering the prospects unsuitable for my disposition, i proceed on. Also, i would like to encourage you, the reader, to try and empathize with the situation if you are not the fairer sex, rather than considering yourself as the prospect.

Firstly, being a woman at 23, i still cannot think of calling anyone other than my parents and sibling as family. Is it possible for a person to forcibly intrude himself in, when i am not ready to accept? 

Secondly, there is this really huge concept or feeling or whatever you might want to term as - 'Love', that is unbelievably, yet universally praised. In my perspective, there is no emotion or feeling that never ceases to exist. An attraction on another person that might seem unbounded and immeasurable, would eventually lose that flavor by time. One might want to question, then how are there couples existing, living for prolonged years together or even till they perish, with love for each other. The answer to that is quite practical and blunt - they grow dependent and comfortable with each other. This attribute, i suppose, can be termed as friendship. So essentially, after a marriage, one might find the emotion 'love' with the partner, eventually might find it subsiding in time and turn out to have been grown dependent on each other. An alter - never find the love quotient, yet be friends and lead an understanding life. Another alter - find the partner utterly repulsive and file for a divorce. This just seems like a case of probability, where the said and unsaid outcomes can occur based on the mutuality region's extent among the partners. Hence, there seems nothing divine or attractive in this whole scheme of love and dependency which is worth attempting for.

Thirdly, though a little off-track, i would very much like to address this topic too. Hope you remember the school/ college days, when a girl and a guy spotted talking, would be 'paired up' and shall be teased upon  with each other. These circumstances provide pleasant memories, if the person had any emotions for the other, be it fleeting or for long. While, if the person had not bothered about or disliked his/her pair, the memory would be something of unaffected nature. While though, there is this another category that is a little complicated - the girl and the guy would have wanted to harbor a simple nature of friendship and this 'pairing up' ruins it all. I consider friendship to be a worthy relationship. One would want to make a friend of another, by being inspired of the character and wanting to acquire the good traits from the other person. This is very much synonymous to the act of acquiring knowledge. When such a ridiculous 'pairing up' is done, the girl and the guy shall be forced to avoid the other's company, which would have been otherwise useful.

Summing up, there are different generations of social influences which play a pivotal role and which we hesitate to openly address as issues. An elderly generation that cannot accept questions on traditions; a mid-level generation that gives undeservingly huge hues to the concept of 'love' and 'marriage'; and a younger generation that gives undeservingly wrong hues to create uncomfortable situations. Will we be able to change these social influences and make a reasonable and comfortable life for ourselves? 

We, the society, should decide.

Written thoughts.

To write, is a weird process. I generally start writing with one thought in my head to be conveyed. Then when i start typing or writing out, the concern about giving a structure to the thought erupts and sometimes the whole process from then on becomes a tedious one. So today, the thought was to analyze how this whole thing of writing works out in my head. The write i am going to analyze on is Master's - the enlightment (part 2) So here goes..

Note: All in red are my thoughts, black are the original written part and blue is the spice!

Pre-Script: It's gonna be tricky unless you read my previous blog mentioned above. Sorry for the trouble.

I want to write about the decision i took. So maybe Decisions, we all take. Whether they really prove to be effective, that is a question we answer after taking the decision. It sounds cool. Kinda like Sean Connery's dialogues.And so started my answering phase for the decision i've taken in my life - "To pursue Master's" This phrase sounds very familiar to me. Why?? Rite, this is how my cover letter starts. Obviously!- which has turned into quite a clichéd expression i've been using in most of my letters of late. which i dont think anybody would connect to. Anyway, let me just break here and go to the next para, before they think too much.

One might have many a reason to yearn for a graduate degree abroad - and i want to list the reasons. Wait! i dont want THEM to know what my reason was. Im a genius! i'll put my reason in between the rest, so they would think the first one as mine which will be the wrong one. The first rule of writing is, never connect it with you..  a real quench for knowledge in a particular field of interest yup! those usual couple of guys in the class who keep asking doubts during lectures, as a family status symbol that has to be kept up competing with the predecessor cousins who have done the same task first - im making the sentence complex, next who would be this stupid to have THIS as a reason? but should i care? naah.., to do that one step ahead than the bride in the degree count (with a smirk) usually its told that girls come to US after finding a partner or TO find a partner. But im not gonna say that! Remember, im a girl whose virtues of male-female equality stand tall like a statue of liberty in my head, to have that one last chance of freedom in life at a place quite known or rather animated for the fun and frolic of the younger generation i think this is how guys feel usually. Quite a far guess though, who knows what goes on in their heads?? , as a hope for the career path after Bachelor's to steer into an interesting domain, etc. Exactly! this is how every person who come to US for MS after a couple of years of work experience feel like. Or am i a very narrow minded prejudging person? again! who cares??, of which if your reason was not mentioned, you are welcome to include them too. Now, its my turn to include my reason in between. So, what was my reason again?.. Maybe it'll be much more a genius effort if i dont even put my reason in this. Waah! im brilliant! But the point here is, we all have our reasons that might be big, small or moderate not gonna say "big, moderate or small". Be different \m/ in other's eyes, yet it has become into something which drove us to this point in our lives. the whole sentence sounds very redundant "point" "lives". Maybe whenever the going gets tougher, the next para gets going!

This seems to go too boring. Maybe, i could claim the proceeding part to be interesting, though it actually is not! Yaay! New theory! The interesting perspective about this decision we have taken is the predicament that tags along with us. Where do i go? Where do i go?? I'll take the emergency exit. more examples, more reasons! Starting from the reason we have for the decision taken - even if the reason is sillier, the first and foremost obligation is to make it look like a noble cause. Pretty much the whole effort in my writing is the same. This is truly a difficult task, when the person himself cannot connect anymore with the reason or finds the reason ridiculous and baseless. Pretty much this is how my thought process while writing goes too.The predicament extends to the extent of coping to live without the first circle of family and friends, which is truly not an easy task; and having to show up a dignified existence where a subconscious thought of second class inhabitant constantly lingers in the heart. OMG! Im connecting! Im connecting!! Exit strategy - skip to next para...

Even with all of these negativities and even more to be added along with them on the due course, The second rule of writing is, never connect it with you! Now i made it sound like a general notion. Naanananaana (tongue's out) we still manage to have some quotient of enjoyment in life, for freedom tastes sweet too sometimes. There are certain things which we wouldn't be trying out had it been that we were living with our parents in our home country. (with a smirk) People are gonna expect something spicy with tongues lolling out Activities that would have been considered unwise or threatening otherwise, shall be looked upon as a valuable experience to be gained, even by our hawk eyed parents. Parents - hawk eyed? actually doesn't touch the base that much. Still, think it can pass.Thus becomes road trips, camping, sky diving & hiking a valid pastime for holidays and weekends to be looked up for. That's what i see on facebook more or less. Night time walks and star gazing becomes recreational relaxation for the day. (with a grin) that's what i do for any free day! Arrggh! i connected again (Slap myself) NEXT PARA!!

Actually too much of jumps.. and where am i taking them to? but wasn't the aim of my blog to just write for myself & anybody who is interested enough can glimpse at my thoughts too. But then its too late to even be writing for myself. Its 3:45 am already. I'm gonna end it. Master's is a waste of time already. 

On a cumulative note, Master's as a 2 year span of our life, should i say my life? am i not generalizing that all readers are doing master's. Brain inactivity.. Skip off! would give an accomplished or unaccomplished feel, based on the way we would want to look at it. (laughs out) that's definitely off the track. Right now when i turn back and see, it seems colorful to me. (Laughs out really hard) im gone crazy. Whatte conclusion man! "colorful" sooooper!! Let them just split their hairs and run away. Will you ever dare coming to my blog site? Will you uh? Will you?? (In tamil - Mavane! Setha nee!) OK! end.

So guys, here is what i want to say - The third rule of writing is, never connect it with you. (lol) Fight club Rockkkss!!! \m/